Lessons...

I have learned many lessons since graduating college. There are going to many more I am sure, but here are a few to start off with...

1) Hard work pays off- I graduated college! I didn't know there were so many people around today that cannot say that. All the hard work I have put into my studies since high school has paid off. I have a bachelor's degree that no one can take away from me. I know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed yet, but at least I am worth picking up once in a while!

2) Money makes the world go 'round. This is a sad lesson, but it's true. After graduating I realized how important it is. Not that it should be the only thing I care about, but I need to be wise with it.

3) Good things come to those who work for it. There are no handouts in this world. You have to work hard to get what you want. And that's the best way to do it anyway. Then you can sincerely appreciate it.

4) Family is important. Moving back home after graduating was one of the hardest transitions that I had to make. After living on my own for so long it was hard to be under the same roof as my parents. It felt like I was taking a step back, but the truth was that I needed to reconnect with them. It's been really hard, but I am glad that the bonds I had before I left for college are starting to take root again. They are different roots so to speak since I am a much different person than I was when I left, but they are roots all the same. Getting to know my family again has been trying, but worth while. I am also grateful them because they let me move back in! So many of my friends didn't have the option of going back home. I did with no questions asked. And it has been SO helpful seeing as how I am in the middle of figuring out this post grad life!

5) And last but not least, here is the lesson I recently learned. God answers prayer. Sometimes it comes as soon as you send it up to Him, and sometimes it takes a long time. But if you trust in Him then the time-line doesn't make a difference. There is nothing like getting that tap on the shoulder or that hug in your heart when you know God is making a move. Coupled with this lesson I came to this realization: The Lord gives and he takes away. God's pruning shears sometimes leave some open wounds, but that's usually because you were resisting the trimming process. I recently had to let go of someone that God brought into my life in the early days of summer. He became my best friend over night. Our friendship was something that I prayed for and received just when I needed it. It taught me a lot about myself and who I was in Christ. Then our friendship took a different turn in September. We realized there were deeper feelings behind the friendship. Coming to this realization was both a blessing and a curse. One of the most amazing things to discover was that I was in love with my best friend. However, I had to do some deep soul searching within in myself. What I found was hard to come to terms to. One voice in my heart said to let go. Another voice said that I needed to fight for what I wanted. Several other voices chimed in. Some inside and some outside. Some from people, some from God, some from my dreams, and some from my random brain activity. But I could not come to terms with myself. All the while I tried to convince myself that I was at peace. And then one day, I got tired of fighting with all these voices. I tried to listen to only one. I tried to block everything out except for God's voice. I prayed and prayed and prayed. God seemed silent. I yearned for His voice, yet I felt so disconnected from Him. Why wasn't He answering me? All I could hear were the voices of the people around me and....oh, wait....
It dawned on me. God had been speaking to me the whole time, I just wasn't willing to listen and obey.
Fighting with God is one of the most exhausting things a person can do. I mean think about it...Jonah ended up in a whale fighting against God! And where did I end up? Well not in a whale, but in a place where I was trying to please everyone, but couldn't. So I had only one option, to please the one closest to me...God. I chose what He had put in my heart to do. And that was not easy, let me tell you. I have some dark days ahead. My heart is going to take time to heal. I don't know what He is going to do, but I trust that my desire to do His will and not my own will bring better days.