Answered Prayer

There are a lot of new things going on right now. First of all, I have been offered a position at Macy's. Thank God! I am tired of begging for hours. Also, I just got a job as a transcriber for an insurance claims investigator.
And something that I am really excited about is YAF. The Young Adult Fellowship that is starting at my church. The church hasn't had a college age group before and a few of us are starting to get the ball rolling on it. It's really cool to be at the beginning of something like this. We are trying to get more people to come, plan events, and get more people connected to the church. I am excited to see what God is going to do through this ministry and this church. And speaking of ministries, they are going to start a Theatre Ministry too! I am finally starting to see the stars align in my life! Haha! And just in time too...

I am always amazed by how God works in my life. This is an entry from a journal entry I wrote on December 21, 2010:

I am experiencing a season of dryness. Dryness of soul, dryness of friends, dryness of joy. Sure, there’s a little glimmer here and there, but I can’t shake this constant feeling of frustration. I don’t like it. I don’t like life right now. Sure, its not as bad as it could be. But there’s got to be something more. I just haven’t found the key to unlocking it yet. God, please help me. I want to be content where I am. But I know where I am isn’t exactly where You want me. I don’t feel like I am being used. I feel useless.

Sunday night was the first official Young Adult Fellowship meeting at my church with a Bible study and everything. A group of us got together beforehand and prayed for what was about to take place. We weren't sure who was coming or if we were going to have awkward cliques. But we earnestly prayed for God to work and bring people in and that it would be a good time of fellowship. And it was!
Something was said during worship that really stuck out to me.

"Don't just be what I need, God. Be what I want."

After I heard that I had one of those...moments. You know, the ones where you find yourself stop breathing for a few seconds, where you feel something in your brain literally light up, when all of a sudden you realize that you've just heard something that makes the world seem a little less confusing. Yeah, it felt like that. Sure, I know I need God. But do I want Him? Like really want Him for who He is and not because I've been told that I need him or that I should want him? Gives you something to think about, huh? Well, for people who like to think (like me), I wrote the quote down to look at later for further contemplation.
Then we got into the study. We are going through the book of Romans. First of all, I love Paul's writings. So I was already a happy camper. But there were a lot of key points that resonated in my heart as I heard them.

The first that stuck out to me was in verse 1. "Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God." It was pointed out that if you are separated TO something then you are separated FROM something in order to DO something.

The next point the speaker made was that is it's easy to fall into complacency and apathy. It's easy to not be separated. It's easy to get distracted from what you are supposed to do. It may seem like a fundamental lesson, but it occurred to me that it takes a lot of hard work to do what you are called to do. It's so stinkin' easy to fall into a routine, to fall into mediocrity, to fall into just going with the flow. It takes a lot of discipline to pull yourself out of complacency and apathy.
Then the speaker said, "And when you get to this point, you will never feel so dry. You will never feel so unsatisfied with your life then when you aren't doing what you are supposed to do."
Immediately my mind recalled the entry I had made in my journal a month ago. Then I had another one of those moments. The ones where you say to yourself, "Wow...that was totally for ME to hear right now."
I came to this horrifying conclusion: I'm not doing what I am supposed to do! It kind of felt like that moment when you realize you've written a 10 page paper on the wrong topic or when you aren't using the right format. Haha!
The speaker went on to say that the love and grace that we have been given through Jesus Christ is something that needs to be given out. And in that act we find victory over the dryness in our soul. We have the power to not only change our own lives, but other lives as well. But I've heard that before so no biggy, right? Exceeeeept that I wonder if I really understand the power that the gospel of Christ can have over another human being. If I truly understood who and what is backing me up, would I be so afraid to step out in faith? To talk to a stranger? To keep myself and others accountable? Would it be so scary to trust that God isn't wasting my time by not opening the doors of Hollywood to me in the first year after my graduation? I have just been sitting here worried that my two non-theatre related jobs are sucking the creativity out of me when the reality is that my Creator has placed me there for a reason. I need to make the most of where I am because if I can't handle being a good witness there then how am I going to be an effective Christian in the entertainment industry? The parable of the three men with the talents comes to my mind now. When their boss came back one of them hadn't done anything with what he was given. I think I was starting to fall in his footsteps in the respect that I was saying, "God, I'm not working in anything theatre-related, so I'm just gonna hang out and earn money until you open the doors. Just let me know when I need to put on my Christian again badge, okay? Okay."
Eeeek, what a scary place to be! Who says that just because I feel a calling to be in the entertainment industry that that's the only place I will be used by God? Or that's the only place that I should invest my time or try to make a difference?
It finally dawned on me that God wants me to get back to the basics. Learn to love to spend time with Him first and foremost. In that alone will I find satisfaction. God has so many promises for me in His word. He says, "For your heavenly Father knows that you need in all things. But first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt. 6:32-33). I am chuckling as I read this because it's such a simple concept but it's so difficult to execute! Evenso, it's a promise and God does not break His promises.
So I guess I am sharing this to give a little encouragement to all my post graduate comrades. Take heart in the fact that God DOES answer prayer. He brought to light why I am feeling so frustrated. I have been neglecting Him. But He's not only showing me where I need to change but He has lovingly provided an arrow to pointing down the avenue to change. AND, to my great delight, my church is starting a theatre ministry! It's still in the bud, but it makes me oh so excited for the future!
So pour your heart out to God and listen for His answer.
Don't just survive through post grad life, but actually live it.
Seize the moment.
Don't forget who gave them to you.
Don't forget why they were given to you.