The FREEway.

Today has been an interesting day. Though somewhat uneventful I thought I should share a few of the random things that have passed through my brain today.

For one thing, I drove on the freeway for the first time. SO FREAKIN' SCARY!!!! Haha. It doesn't help that there isn't a freeway close to my house. I had to change freeways four times just to find my way back to Whittier. Then I have to get back on the regular streets and take all these back hill streets to get back in my neighborhood. Getting to my house is such a chore! Now I get why everyone gets lost whenever they come to my house for the first time. Haha.
It was a rather long escapade. But before I hopped on the 57 I started praying. I said, "God, please don't let me and my dad die. Help me not to mess up and kill anyone either." Then I started to imagine what life would be like if me and my dad did die. At first I thought, Jeez that would be a really horrible way to go. I could hear the news report on TV. "A young lady and her father were killed in a 7 car pile up on the free way. The young lady had just received her driver's license and wanted to practice on the interstates. Others injured in the crash are in critical condition but will soon be on their way to recovery." Imagining news reports conveying my death WHILE I am driving is probably not very healthy, but my mind definitely went there today!
Then I concluded that now would actually be a very convenient time for me to die. I feel weird saying this but let me explain why I am. Right now I am living at home. The only bills I pay are my student loans, which would disappear if I were to go. Right now I am an on-call at Macy's so it's not like they would really miss me. My position as a secretary could also be easily replaced. Right now I am on good terms with pretty much everyone in my life. I have no significant other that would die of a broken heart. My family would take it very hard of course, but time would heal my absence.
When I finally got back to my neighborhood I looked up in the sky and there these HUGE cloud formations in the sky. It was truly beautiful. I started to imagine how infinite the universe was and how incredible tiny I am. This realization made me feel very free. It was a good kind of free too. Like things really aren't so bad. Like I don't have control. This sometimes make me freak out...not being in control. But having that responsibility taken away from me is such a blessing. I don't know what God is going to do with the rest of my life, however long that may be, but I am excited for the future and how I will be used.

So that's a little peek into my brain activity for the day.
Thank you God for all that You have done in my life and for all that You are going to do.