Moments

Life is full of beautiful moments...

A moment is finding beauty in the face of a flower that you have passed a million times.
But for some reason, this time, it has caught your eye, and you can't help but take note
of the radiant colors, the softness of the petals, or comprehend the simplicity of the life it
lives.

A moment is watching the sunset at the end of a perfect day.
There is something awesome about watching the closing of one page of life, and waiting for
the unfolding of the next. These moments take longer to pass as time itself seems to slow
down before your eyes. And though you wish it to stop completely, the inevitability of
tomorrow creeps closer as the sun fades away.

A moment is standing in a crowd of adults, only to hear the sound of a child's laughter-
So pure, innocent, and true.
If only we could all laugh as truthfully as children do. If only joy did not have to be hidden
or disguised as it is today. If only we could let it out in the sound of a crisp, undulating voice
mixed with a true smile.

A moment is an unexpected and undeserved gift from the most unlikely person.
In moments like these, "Thank you" is not enough...you aren't even able to speak these
words because your heart has been touched so deeply, all your body is able to respond with
are grateful tears.

A moment is meeting someone's eyes and holding it there until it becomes a gaze...
Who is this person? What are they thinking about?
And why can't I bare to look away?

A moment is hearing someone's voice for the very first time.
The sound pierces your world and your brain categorizes it with the face that it came from.
It's a sound that you have never heard before, and sometimes, you will never hear it again.
But if the moment is right, you may just hear that voice over and over...and over

A moments is a first kiss...
Whether you see it coming or not, there is that split second where times does slow down and
eventually stops...
It stops because nothing is else is going on in your head other than what is happening then
and now...
And you cannot help but want it to go on forever...
For nothing is more beautiful, more pure, more vulnerable, more close than letting your lips-
the wellspring of your thoughts and dreams...
the place where you receive the air you need to breath...
There is nothing more lovely than letting the softest part of your countenance be touching
another's.

A moment is...remembering these moments.
You are going about your everyday life and your random brain activity decides to rest
on moments such as these.
You stop,
gaze into nowhere,
And softly smile to yourself.

Life is full of beautiful moments...
What are your favorites?

"I don't want to survive! I want to LIVE!"

So for the past few weeks I have had the urge to write a blog about what is going on in my life right now and the things that God has shown me this summer. It has taken me a while to get all these thoughts out in such a way that they make sense and I still don’t know if they do. Nonetheless, I would like to get them out there so it’s all out of my head. Most of my thoughts are centered around images in my head so bear with them it they don’t make any sense still…
First I would like to begin with tour that I was on this summer. WHAT A RIDE! It is seriously one of the most difficult yet amazing things that I have ever done in my life. It’s funny to think that I almost didn’t do it. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited until the last night to turn in the application. And even after I had finished all the paperwork and was standing outside the drama office, it took a few seconds for me to slip the papers under the door. After I finally did, I remember saying to myself, “what on earth are you getting yourself into?”
I learned so much on this trip, met so many different people, saw so many places, and experienced new things. For one, I learned what it means to live of the grace of someone else. You never knew what kind of family that you were going to stay with or how the family dynamic was going to be so basically you would just ride home with them and cross your fingers. Thankfully, I only stayed with a couple “interesting” families. The rest of them were more graceful than I ever expected. And every night I would lay in bed and wonder how people could be so generous. They’d open up their home ( and their refrigerator ) to complete strangers and let them have the run of the house.
Second of all, I learned patience. My patience was tried in a variety of ways this summer. I’m sure a lot of us on the team could attest to that fact. And most of the time the things that were trying my patience I had no control over. All I could do was lift it up to God and pray about it. Having these things out of my control was so hard for me. I so wanted to be the hand of God and sway things the way that I thought that they should go. It was actually kind of humorous because I pictured myself looking at my life in front of me as a puzzle. I’d be sitting there looking at all the pieces trying to put them in the right place. But sometimes I would grab the wrong piece and try to fit it in where there was no possible chance of it fitting. I could just see God slapping my hand away-telling me to step aside and let him finish the picture. I was sitting in church the other day and we were looking at John 15. A verse that caught my attention and that has been on my heart ever since is in verse five- “for without Me you can do nothing.” READ THAT AGAIN! “for without Me you can do NOTHING.” Nothing…as in nada, zero, zilch!
Why is that so hard for me to understand? Why do I think that I know where the puzzle pieces should go? And why do I question where they go even when they fit? You would think that when something happens to us we would understand that we are going through it for a reason because that’s what Jesus told us. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those you are the called according to HIS purpose” Romans 8:28.
So back to John 15: Here Jesus talks about how He is the vine and we serve as the branches that bear fruit. Now it’s one thing to be a strong enough person to stay with the vine, but to be able to bear fruit is another. The pastor talked about how sometimes our branches look like Christmas trees rather luscious branches full of vibrant fruit. That created another image in my head. Do I just decorate my branches with what looks like beautiful fruit? Do I just say things that make it look like I am a Christian or can people really walk away from me and say that they have tasted the fruits of God’s love?
Basically I have been doing some inventory on my heart lately. And from the looks of it God has too. If anything He has been pruning the parts of me that are all too willing to keep me isolated from others and understanding where they are coming from. I have been trying to take some chances in my life and have sometimes been forced into situations that I normally wouldn’t have put myself in.
The result? Well, the earth didn’t swallow me up, a meteor didn’t fall out of the sky and kill me, and I wasn’t hit by a bolt of lightening.
That’s pretty much what I though would happen if I stepped out in faith. Instead, I have learned to appreciate life. I know that there is still more for me to learn, but at least I’m in a place now where I am willing to learn. Most of the time, my life has been driven by fear…fear of getting too vulnerable. But then I realized something, if I kept everyone at arms distance, then I would never get to experience a hug. I have learned that if you don’t let anyone get close enough to hurt you, then no one will ever be close enough to love you either! There will always be a chance taken and that can be so hard. But in the words of Tom Hanks in A League of their Own, “ It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard then everybody would do it. Hard is what makes it great.” He was talking about baseball, of course, but I think that is a great quote that can be used in any situation that we may be fearful of. What have we got to lose anyway?
If you come up with a few answers to the last question ask yourself if those things really matter in the long run. I did that and all I came up with is what I want to do on this earth…I want to live. I have no idea how to do that at the moment. But I guess the only way to figure that one out is to get out of survival mode and actually live. If any of you saw Wall-e then you should remember when the captain said that to that psycho machine on auto-pilot. How many us are on auto-pilot? Let’s get back to manual. Let’s die to self, and really put ourselves out there where God can use us. That is the prayer of my heart for myself right now, and I trust that “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6.
The last thing that God has really been pounding into me is love…love for Him, love for myself, and love for others. There are so many ways that you can love a person and I can’t believe that I have been holding back for so long. Doing “Joe” this summer was a big eye-opener for me. It made me realize that I have a lot of Joes in my life. Even though I am very grateful for them, I feel like I have been taking and taking and taking from them without giving back.
Jesus said this in John 15:12-13, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.”
I want to give back now!
Oh God, please help me to do that!