You know what’s worse than not having what you want?
It’s having what you want, and then losing it.
You see when you want something that you have never had before it’s out there in that futuristic space where there is beautiful mystery and potential. For all you know you could be better off without that want, but there is an odd optimism that comes with the unknown.
And that optimism increases as that want gets closer and closer to the here and now and farther from that futuristic place.
Finally, it rests in the palm of your hands and you let it sink in to your mind, body and soul while your five senses take it all in. You experience this overwhelming joy because your desire has finally been met and your dream is now a reality and you thank the heavens for bestowing such a wonderful gift!
But then the heavens change their mind...
They decide to reverse the process and take back the gift you thought was yours to keep, so that what you were humbly hoping for you are now shamelessly and desperately pleading to get back!
And you can still feel everything...you can still smell and taste the experience.
The heavens are merciful that way you know? They let you keep the good memories...
But even that can be torture sometimes, because you don’t have the means to create them anymore.
-Jennifer Carbajal
